No Place Like Home is the quest where the witchers of Kaer Morhen finally get a night off in The Witcher 3, and it is one of the funniest scenes in the game. While Vesemir spends the night trying to cure Uma his own way, Geralt, Lambert, Eskel and Yennefer sit down for a quiet evening. It does not stay quiet.
How to start No Place Like Home
The quest starts once you have finished Disturbance, To Bait a Forktail… and The Final Trial, as part of Ugly Baby. It is a level 19 quest. The 500 XP reward only comes if you stay up and have fun.
An evening at the keep
The evening starts with talk about Uma and the people around the table. If Geralt told Yennefer he loves her in The Last Wish, she takes him aside for a private moment. Afterwards she goes to bed, and Geralt goes back to the boys, who are drinking and talking about Eskel’s old contract on a samovila.
“Let’s have some fun”
This is the option you do not want to miss. The three witchers play “never have I ever”, run out of drink, and Eskel goes to fetch more and does not come back. Follow the spilled alcohol to find him asleep outside with his goat. Then Lambert has a brilliant idea: use Yennefer’s megascope to invite some sorceresses to the party. If you agree, the witchers can even dress up in Yennefer’s clothes to blend in. It ends as you would expect, with Yennefer appearing and sending them all to bed.
Tips
- Picking “go to bed” at any point ends the quest right away, skipping the fun and the 500 XP.
- “Let’s have some fun” skips the remaining options, so ask about the samovila and play gwent first.
- A gwent game with Lambert here counts for Gwent: Old Pals if you have not played him yet.
- You can safely refuse the megascope idea after finding Eskel without losing the reward.
- If you put on Yennefer’s trousers, take them off manually afterwards. Your own trousers can disappear otherwise.
